My doula asked me the other day, “What else do you need me to know to create the environment you need for birth?”
And she asked in a moment that caught me off guard, so the answer wasn’t sitting at the tip of my tongue.
(Unusual for a woman who’s always sharp on tongue and answers. ;))
They say you give birth how you live.
One of my most repeated beliefs is:
HOW YOU DO ONE THING IS HOW YOU DO EVERYTHING.
And last night at deeksha, it came to me so clearly: the environment I need TO RECEIVE this gift is exactly what I’ve been creating for people for years:
-safe
-undisturbed
-dark
-free to be wild, tribal even, animalistic, sensual
-supported
-completely surrounded by Divine Force
-completely surrendered to Divine timing
-completely surrendered to not what I want it to look like, but what actually comes
…which just so happens is exactly what people say a woman needs to be able to give birth naturally.
A decade ago, when I discovered deeksha, for two years, I did it the same way: I played the moola mantra (happened to be a very cool tribal version of the song at the time…,) begged someone else to facilitate. Let him talk, lead, give his lessons, do his own thing.
Then I went to Fiji and the MOMENT I stepped off the bus on to the Namale resort, where I was to be initiated, it was a lightening flash of a download.
I had never experienced that before. A zip drive of knowing: one second it was not in my mind, and the next it was files and files of information, images, a path, a calling, a purpose, deeply embedded in my cells, my heart.
And it looked like this: a giant circle of deeksha, loud, tribal music, darkness. Skylines. High heels. Suits. New Yorkers.
You have to understand how out of the norm this was at the time, not only for blessing events, but for meditation or spiritual events in general in the US.
Every event, meditation or service that I went to was light, quiet, soft music, reverent in YOUR silence. Dusty. Polite.
And that’s what I had been taught my whole life, by the Catholic church, by yogis in India. Quiet. Reverent. Someone else leading you. Permission. Hierarchy. Patriarchy.
And when I started to embrace my tribal, my sensual, my messy, my raw, the dark that was within and without—
Those parts of the Divine (and of Woman) that frightened other people with their mystery and power—
That’s really when my Divine Life took over as something that was intertwined with ALL of my life and not something separate:
…relegated to an altar in the corner, or a Sunday morning, or a box where I had to tell some old guy all my sins to be deemed worthy or free.
And someone else’s natural or Divine might just be quiet and soft and light. But it stands to reason that I’d never find a complete illumination, fulfillment or expression in a church that didn’t believe in dark or tribal or woman or messy. Where I needed permission or cleansing to merely exist.
I always teach people, if you’re a badass,
you’re going to need a badass version of the Divine.
And so what I continued to create is that container for other men and women:
- raw
- sacred
- permission to be wild, free
- cheering for messy, real
- freedom to be YOUR Self
Because if we are not open
and surrendered to the moment,
no matter what it looks like,
then we are not able to receive.
And while my raw might be waddling naked around my apartment, waving feathers, incense, house music pumping in darkness— it’s absolutely cool and expected that that is NOT your route to your unique expression of the Divine that works for you…
But I share that with you because if this nutball can “find love in a hopeless place,” I KNOW it is right there for you. Waiting to be seen. Expressed. Owned. Grounded in and lifted higher.
You are what you’ve been waiting for.
Own it, babes.
We need you.
**********************************************
NYC, I hope you will join me for our final ritual event for the year this coming Wednesday October 5th. Books and lectures, yoga class and newsletters are all well and good, but there is NOTHING like community gathering for ritual that is faster for shifting consciousness.
We will be setting individual intentions, utilizing ancient ritual and invoking the spirit of Lakshmi:
Goddess of prosperity, wealth, fortune, power, beauty, fertility, and auspiciousness. Lakshmi is unabashedly resplendent and luxe. (Oh + dudes, don’t be shy in attending. Goddesses are here for us all.)
Come and illuminate your autumn with her Grace + the grace of like minded badasses.
Register here:
http://fallintogoddess.splashthat.com
Wishing you continued badass open-heartedness that encompasses all of life.
x
