When I wrote that, I was referring to things of, let’s say, an intimate nature. (oh sweet Elvis, I hope my mother doesn’t read this blog post.) A reader asked me to expound on this idea. For the sake of modesty, let’s delve into dirty beyond the level of the physical.
What is intimacy with another + with life? A dissolution of outside experience so that you feel one with him/her/It. Any knd of intimacy is absolutely impossible without devout trust. You could replace trust for faith. Faith that the world, the person, the event will not harm or hurt you. That there will be generosity, sensitivity in your interaction.
Only in the presence of that trust can there be a vulnerability on your part. And everything comes only in our highest state of vulnerability. Pardon the pun, but is that moment not sought after for the ultimate NOW-ness that it brings?
We push away life when it’s uncomfortable. We avoid when we want to remain, neutral, familiar + cozy.
But the good stuff lies beyond the dirty. The trust and vulnerability, even if a project or attempt fails, sometimes especially when the attempt fails, paves the way for a deeper understanding. There are whole worlds of experience to be found when we reach out of our comfort zones.
Why don’t we? Because it’s scary, it’s messy, it’s hard. Of course it is. Has any adventure worth having not seemed to be on the outset? Have the most magnificent moments of your life come from an easy lazy Sunday complacency?
Or were they when you quit your job of a decade and made a gamble to be your own boss?
When you had to clean out your recently passed mother’s apartment, alone, over the holidays, and actually sit with your suffering?
When you chased a girl down across a big city, and although one kiss was all it was meant to be, you felt more alive for having tried?
When we skate the surface of life we deny our soul the opportunity to sing its most rockin’ ballad. The more dirty we are willing to get, the more we say “yes” to the world. And dirty can be as innocuous as elbows deep in a brand new cookie recipe or getting mud on your face by telling your boss: “yup, that was me, I f**ked up.” It can be a naughty new position in bed or putting ice skates on for the first time in 15 years, both of which may uncomfortably upend you.
Dirty is hot because it’s dangerous. Faith in another person, in yourself, in taking a risk, morphs dirty into intimate.
And don’t get me wrong, I am not speaking of unconscious danger. This dirty I speak of is not recklessness. It is sought after with utmost awareness:: when we reach for dirty in this way, the mindsets of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ melt away.
The kind of dirty you’re looking for is when authenticity meets adventure.
Getting dirty, and doing it with trust and integrity breeds wonderment. It gets you out of your mind, because it is a leap into faith. It is ecstatic experience into your embrace of life. Clean, easy + comfy don’t ever lead to ecstatic. Isn’t it time you got a little dirty?
