“Holy f***balls.”
That was the text I sent to my bestie upon exiting.
I know that’s vulgar and one could definitely argue absolutely not sacred, but that is the best I could come up with after having nirvana show up in my face. I’m not proud of the unladylike reaction, but that was my authentic response in the moment– the moment when words were taken away.
I mean, what do you say when you know nothing will be the same again, and all you believe and hold to be true is REAL + ALIVE + HERE + WAKING UP?
Not just for you, but for everyone around you– you realize it IS now + time + for YOU + for ALL?…
Well, if you’re a potty-mouth Manhattanite, apparently you text your bestie:
‘holy f***balls.’ (um, in full disclosure, the text was sans asterisks…)
Oh, wonders of the Universe, you know I meant that as the Ultimate compliment.
Mom, apologies for my language.
I’m speaking of an experience I had with a monk, about a week ago. In a swift download, I saw and was it ALL. To describe my experience would make the most luscious sci-fi movie seem as banal as a bowl of Cheerios, so really, I won’t even bother. That’s for me, it’s time to get yours.
2012 is a shot of Grace so hard + fast that discombobulation is de rigeur.
I’ve been receiving oodles of emails this week questioning + reaching for definitions, stretching on topics varying from India to Samadhi to hummus wraps, pleas, prayers, a yearning to understand. If only we could put the anxiety aside. There is nothing to understand– it comes for you. You can’t reach for it. It comes to you.
As my yoga master was often quoted in saying: “Practice, practice, and all is coming.”
And I speak to myself here as well. Even this morning, one of my current yoga teachers told me, “Relax… you’re nervous.” I replied, “I know… I can’t help it.”
In a super simplistic overview, here’s what I see. There are 3 places to be.
1. You’re not on board the ride. You don’t know, or don’t think there’s a ride. If you’re here, more than likely your life is falling apart and you’re not quite sure why. Hint: it’s so you give up and get on the ride. Another hint: If you’re reading this, you prolly don’t fall into this category.
2. You’re on the ride and it’s a doozy. You love it. You hate it. You curse it when it’s uncomfortable, you reach for salve when it hurts, but somewhere you know– it’s the ride. You’re willing to face it. If it sucks, it sucks, but you are willing to see it sucks. You are not trying to sugarcoat the suckiness. You are willing to see it takes integrity and work. And grace. LOADS of grace.
3. You’re on the ride and you don’t care, all the while simultaneously caring more than ever. There is a congruent paradox of: “ride, what ride?” + ‘all there IS is the ride.’ These two outlooks exist together, at the same time. Ya, I know that sounds like one of those zen sayings that doesn’t make any sense. That’s what it is.
None of these places is better or worse than the next. They are all equally valid, beautiful, messy and important. I didn’t care to label them #1,2,3, although, they do, in my experience, seem to be sequential. One does not skip over one to get to the other– at least… not yet.
And to get from 1 to 2 to 3, the secret is not about controlling, worrying about, or fussing with the ride. The secret is about what’s happening inside you on the ride. Cause this is it. The ride does not have to be exotic. You do not need to be in India, or Jerusalem or anywhere other than where you are. Your ride is your ride. It comes with you. You cannot chase it, and you cannot run away from it. It is in your pants, in that hottie body. Your surroundings can help you or guide you to focus inward, but the ride is wherever you are.
We have to choose to buckle in. That is your choice. The ride? Well, it’s already happening::
only you decide your vantage point.
“Freedom is just chaos, with better lighting.” —Alan Dean Foster
The ride isn’t around you, or in a land to be sought after, far away. It’s within. Once you get on board, magnificence streams. There is no shortcut.
Nirvana will come to your face.
This year.
It’s here already.
Are you on the ride?
Embracing it?
Can you see it?
If you’re not seeing it outside,
all you need to know
is that home begins within.
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All that being said, if you’re looking for a bit of streaming magnificence in your own hood + you haven’t quite gotten there yet, you could check out this schedule. Every event is free + I promise you this will be somewhere between the most bizarre + beautiful experience you have ever had. Probably both. I’ve never seen anything like this outside of India, or, well, ever. How brave do you want to be?
