complete TRUST: in labor, in life

Tomorrow, Election day in the US, is my due date. It’s a running topical joke between friends that these election proceedings have not yet sent me into early labor.

We are seeing a LOT of fear and anxiety and anger around this election. Americans are scared and upset with our choices, no doubt.

Memes about how stressful this year has been. I see people freaking out who can’t even vote legally in this country. We feel unsafe.

But whose responsibility is it for us to feel safe? Yes, to some extent, we want to (and deserve to) feel safe in our country, our relationship, our workspace. 

But what if we had the capacity to feel safe EVERYWHERE? No matter the president, the partner or profession? What if we could trust?

After midnight last night I was struck with fear, sitting in the dark, alone on my toilet, for the 5th time in 20 minutes.

…because I wasn’t feeling well, belly bursting, exhausted and thinking labor might be starting— and there I was, already tired, and oh sh**, what if???

And I think we can agree that a legitimate fear for me right now is: Um, this baby is GOING to come out. Maybe today or tomorrow. More likely in the 8-10 days late as is standard for new moms, and definitely before Thanksgiving.

So, (not being a masochist) I think it’s pretty natural to be scared of how this watermelon sized person is going to come out of this waddling little body, very very shortly and all that entails.

So what have I done in the face of this fear over the last 10 months? I have surrounded myself with the people who will support me through it. Who are there to champion NOT the fear, but the sacredness and organic process of birth.

I have recognized that I live in a society, and a city, that in this day and age is ruled more by the FEAR of childbirth and uses a medicalized system to try to control and manage that fear. (A patriarchal system at that, but that is for another post…)

And so I have done everything in my power to counteract that fear and not fall prey to it. In a million little ways, I have had to educate and recondition my own mind, like training for a marathon, to be closer to TRUST than to FEAR.

How “successful” I will be remains to be seen, but I can, without a doubt, know that there is no way I could have prepared more.

And I know I have the support at hand, that if I *did* go into labor last night, after midnight, already in fear, that I have the people around me who will REMIND me of that trust.

This is why we follow this spiritual path, to be reminded of what, deep down, our truest Self already knows. Because to never have fear is not evolved, it is psychopathic. It is impossible to be human and not experience fear, due to the collective consciousness of where the world is today.

The key is: WHERE DO WE LIVE?
And: Where and how do we turn when confronted with that fear?

 Do we come closer to it?
Curious about it?
Willing to accept it and therefore transmute it?

Do we allow ourselves to be vulnerable in investigation of it?
To peek at what is beneath it?

If we all operated from a worst case scenario that was months or years down the line, in ANY aspect of life, it would be impossible to function as a human race…

If we don’t believe in a larger Force (What is the energy that created a child? Or makes the earth turn? What’s love?) that we can trust to foster as a benevolent faith, then it’s totally understandable how it might feel powerless to leave all big decisions to “the system”or “the man” or those elected to power.

But the truth is, WE hold the power. Whether we believe in a Force or not.

Our power is in our voice. In our seeing. As long as we live from curiosity and openheartedness and we CULTIVATE TRUST.

And we remind each other.

We meditate, we go to yoga or Soul Cycle or on retreat. WE read blogs. We “like” and share people’s posts on social media that are inclusive and not divisive to REMIND ourselves who we are.

We vote every day. We vote by who we are, what we share. We vote by not our beliefs, but by our actions. Children do not listen to what we say, they watch and follow who we ARE.

We can vote in trust, or we can vote in fear. And we all do our best. Sometimes our best isn’t the outcome we wanted. Sometimes our options aren’t ideal. Sometimes we fall to habit or conditioning or laziness.

But the trying and AIMING for TRUST over fear is worth it, no matter the outcome. To cultivate this trust is work. To walk this work and this path is to trailblaze in a world that isn’t there yet.

Let’s vote with our heats. Tomorrow and every day. And REMIND ourselves, just how powerful we are.

All love,
Margaret signature