soul karaoke: healing childhood hurts

photoLast week I wrote a post about singing your little soul out to the Universe to foster that beneficent, yummy super abundant, secure connection to, ya know, Everything.

Just click right here if you need to catch up on that.

I wanted to build on that post because sometimes in the depths of the ick, it’s tough to get there.  When momma’s having a sh**y day, she’s not thinkin’ of singing to sunshine.  Also, when we’re in different stages of healing or different levels of consciousness, our communication desires and needs are different.  No one way is wrong because what works for one person or one moment at one time is exactly the perfect action for him or her.

So, I wanted to add here.  If you’re feeling a bit of disconnection, restlessness or unease, go get on with your bad Self + Beyonce and shake your sweet thang.

If that seems too “out there.”  You can go ahead and find that love song to sing to yourself.  Right straight as: a shot to the heart.  You won’t be to blame.  You won’t be giving love a bad name.  (Apologies, I just couldn’t resist.)

In deeper states of trauma, we are usually on an unconscious level holding on to hurts that are long gone.  In fact, almost all of the ways in which we are less than what we want to be is because there is something that is hurting us from when we were little kids.  An event happened, the reaction never processed or healed and we may or may not even know it’s affecting our current situation.  We are unconsciously carrying around the hurts and life keeps presenting us with opportunities to heal them.

Good grief, you mean to tell me I’ve been carrying around this sh** for 20 years?
Yes my darling, I’m sorry to tell you, but you have.  Don’t worry though.  The healing’s already underway.

If we’re not ready to sing to the Universe, or in a particularly trying time, sing to the little kid version of yourself.  Sometimes, particularly with more profound abuse or trauma, we just need to know that we are safe, it’s ok to feel the way we do and that someone bigger than us (in this case, literally the bigger, older version of ourselves) loves us.

photoYears ago, I regularly attended a new thought church that no longer exists in the city but was amazing.  Here is one of the things I was told and moved to do at the time.  That’s me, all baby-like.  Yes, that’s me loving myself in paint pen around the frame.  Yes, I hid that anytime someone came over… but you know what?  It truly had a profound healing on some childhood stuff during a time when that was what I needed to heal.  That little girl needed to know she was safe.  Sing a song to that little boy or girl; just see what comes up.  It sounds, and will probably feel a little dumb.  That’s why I posted a naked baby picture of myself here, if I can do that, you can do this in private.

I promise you, if you really shut your doors, go lock yourself in the bathroom or hide under the covers so the neighbors can’t hear you and let yourself do it, it might cause an explosion of release.  When you’re shockingly sobbing your face off over that thing that happened “x” number of years ago?  Yep, that’s it.  That’s the spot.  You found it.  If it just feels a little silly but you start to soften and there’s a warmth and love for that lil kid?  Yup, that’s it too.  It’s working.  🙂

I work with a lot of people who can fly high yet are still carrying decades-old hurts and patterns.  If there is something stuck within, this is a simple way to access that unconscious pattern and shift it up.

It’s really really super duper muy importante to never try to “change” your internal world.  What we’re doing here is fostering a connection to something bigger.  So, in the instance of something more traumatic, it’s not that we are trying to shift your mood, but rather bring love and acceptance to exactly where you are. 

It may seem a subtle difference, and I find it’s the most often wrongly perceived understanding of spirituality:  that we can “choose to be happy.”

So rock it out, lullaby it out, lean in to the delicious rawness of the weepy ballad, if need be.  Whether that’s to the World, your Self or the little kid inside ya.

A good musical always ends with a happy ending.