Tomorrow I am realizing a 20 year dream and buying a beach/country house. (Woot!!)
Although I have been studiously eyeing the market for years, it all happened super quickly:
Accepted offer within hours, signed contracts 3 days later, and closing within a month.
I have a baby, and BAM: grounding. Long term vision, adulting things I’ve never had to deal with like car leases, well water inspections and coastal insurance.
When I started looking— I had no idea how it would happen. #miracle
A bestie invited me to a vision board party at the start of the year, and although couldn’t make it, I told her:
“That’s ok: I only have one thing on my board for the year:
a Hamptons house.”
One thing. Laser vision. A couple weeks later that vision was realized.
Now, let me tell you, this is pretty extraordinary for a woman who lived hand-to-mouth for years. Whose credit was so bad at one point I had to start all over with a secure credit card (where you put the cash in because they don’t trust you) and a Macy’s card (because that was the only card I could get.)
Having less than $100 in the bank account was de rigueur for that poor downtown artist.
One of the things I am proudest of, is that I built my business myself. I had zero money: ZERO for years when I ran events as seva. I just had my dreams tucked back into my heart and knew, trusted that this Divine Life would take care of me one day.
I didn’t build it on gifts and loans, I worked *elsewhere* and funded my own creative inspirations. This gets very lost these days as I see people quitting their jobs all over the place for “what they deserve!!” In the world of social media, there is a lot of skin-deep-sparkle.
I’ve seen people with Instagram account followings that were GIANT (who I admired!) come clean with: I’m shutting this down; I wasn’t making any money. People promoting expensive programs and lifestyles that they’ve never experienced. Or people who are making a fortune, only to come clean later that they were dealing with massive, medicated anxiety their entire, “successful” launch.
We all are where we are, but what I am speaking to— what I have always spoken to— is PRESENCE.
If you look back on 7 years of blog posts, (from when I was broke writing until now,) you will notice the same message over and over and over:
Be with what is NOW.
If we heal what’s in front of us, our dreams will naturally rise.
This is impossible to do, right? Because we always want more. We can’t HELP but dream.
And I am all about dreaming. Especially dreaming with ritual and intent: witchy, powerful, practical, calling in that burning thing within you that you desire… (someone grab the palo santo!)
This is my work after all: helping people to do this. To focus, magnetize, clear, bring them back around when they are narrowed in on ONE choice and expanding that option so it serves *them.* Not just that one job, man-bun dude at the coffee shop, or decision that theirs is the ONLY way.
But: I am MORE about letting go. Because the nature of the mind is to want. But the nature of the heart is TO EMBRACE.
To embrace what is, right there in front of you. With integrity.
Often we speak about how the feminine is receptive. And how women have a difficult time receiving. Yes, this is true of compliments, ownership. (We apologize, we won’t stand in full glory, we diminish because it’s comfortable.)
But it is also and more true that we have trouble receiving the vulnerable. The intimate. The still. Embracing, whatever comes.
If receptivity was just about ownership and stuff, it would look like the masculine:
“Im very highly educated. I know words. I have the best words.”
And so where we have been misguiding ourselves of late is where we try to make the feminine more powerful by making her look like the masculine.
Important things, yes, to counsel women to not be interrupted, not apologize for merely existing and for being proud of their accomplishments.
(Yay International Woman’s Day! Yay beach house!)
But the authentic feminine, this Divine Feminine that is rising is all about MAGNETIZING. Magnetizing is embracing, letting go, no effort.
Healing charges our magnet.
Now did my dream beach house just fall out of the sky? Of course not. I’m taking on a super scary amount of debt, from people who believe in me.
I have a mountain of work in front of me. It’s a responsibility. An investment. A giant risk.
But one minute it seemed impossible and the next minute it was happening.
People ask if it’s hard to have a baby, and I tell them, “Nope, it’s not hard. Because I just do whatever he wants.”
If you actually just do what your baby wants to do, it’s not hard. (Will it get harder? Obviously. Will I change my mind when he’s a screaming toddler having a meltdown on 2nd Avenue? Possibly.)
But what if I operate from this place?:
Perhaps this mini being of light may be closer to his intuition than mama is and I just need to follow his lead? 😉
I have faith in that.
And I have faith in Life.
Most people try to put a baby on their schedule. “How is he sleeping?” is literally the second question every. Single. Time. People talk about coaching and sleep training before your baby can even make eye contact.
This is what we do AT EVERY MOMENT.
We manipulate, we hustle, we push. We try to make it look our way.
Because having a down year in business, three years of no sex, or five years of not knowing what our career is, is freaking terrifying.
I get it. I’ve been in all those places.
We try to make life go on OUR schedule rather than just going with what life wants to give us.
Life knows what we want. The most important thing we can work on is embracing where we are.
Then one day, before we know it, a beach house falls out of the sky and into our lap.
Trust. You got this. I believe in you.