Do you have any idea how liberating it is to see a whole lotta cellulite on your rear, for the first time in your *life* and casually note: huh, look at that: cool; I’m expanding.
This could have VERY easily been a quintuple sob emoji moment:
For a woman who’s been told she has “hall of fame” legs for decades, to, in an instant, lose the western societally lauded aesthetic of a smooth backside, would be an easy tip into a (pardon the pun) tailspin.
And yet, my easy breezy, totally true and unshackled reaction was: cool.
For a woman that spent the better part of her adult life fraught with what she “needed” to look like, obsessively tied to the gym or cleansing cycles to lose weight and used to eat her emotions in wee, endless fistfuls of Frosted Flakes— this non-effort of complete love + acceptance is REVOLUTIONARY.
We spend billions of making ourselves look “better,” but this is the freedom that women truly crave.
Men don’t understand this. Two weeks ago I sent out a call to stop shaming women’s bodies and got dozens of enthusiastic, heart explosive responses from women. (YES!!! flew in, over and over again.)
I talked to a close dude friend, who said: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “What do you mean you don’t get it?”
Him: “Is this a thing? Women are upset about their bodies + shame other women for them?”
Whaa?? Whoa. It floored me that the disparity of responses between the two sexes was so vast.
Guys have no idea. Guys have no idea of the internal dialogue, the constant subliminal and not-so-subliminal pressure of an impossible comparison. And of the pain as age organically transitions what was young or tight to wrinkly, wise and lived: that wisdom is not celebrated as it should be.
What does this have to do with spirituality? EVERYTHING.
Because deciding to love yourself… Empowering yourself to live from a place of nourishment, flexibility, vibrance and ease is completely for naught if we don’t do the internal work.
Our external world is a reflection of our internal world.
We can take the external steps to take care of ourselves, exercising, eating well, but without the internal work, that in and of itself becomes an obsession.
I’ve seen people proudly proclaim “I haven’t had sugar for 12 years!” who were Queen of Crazytown internally. Thin, yes, but crazy seeped in front of them like a cloud of manic edginess. You just don’t feel at ease around this kind of person. You can sense the willful control that is still present, white knuckling “health.” It’s not super attractive.
And I am very active in this pregnancy. Because my midwives told me to be as active as possible. Because the plan is to squat out this little munchkin into a sea of love in as organic a process as was meant to be.
And that means, biking everywhere, dancing, walking miles and miles a day, yoga, spinning, belly dancing, swerving, endless hip circles. Not to stay thin. Or to “bounce back” to some weight I held 6 months ago: for VIBRANCY. For presence. So that I can be the best mom I can be, starting now. So that I am open and free and AWARE of every conscious moment of this sacred process.
They say that the way you give birth is the way you live. The way you live is the way you live.
How do we do this? We start to unshackle our mind from the conditioning of what we need to be. We gather as women to celebrate our transitions and sob out our stories of when we feel not enough. We take responsibility for where we are being out of integrity, lazy, victimized or small.
We surround ourselves with others who also believe: ya, I don’t want to be the crazytown woman who needs to control her sugar. I want a life of freedom and vibrancy and the guy who is going to look over at me in bed and not give a f*** when cellulite appears overnight, as it prolly eventually will.
These bodies are sacred portals to the mysteries of the Universe. We aren’t ever going to know that in our cells until we know that in our being. Calling all babes, let’s do this together. Support each other. Love each other. Prize ENERGY over esthetic. Men, love up on your women. Tell them they are beautiful. Let’s heal the nonsense of this old paradigm.
x
